


I Want This

by Midnight4KRises



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3RACHA, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Jisung is a jealous floof, Light Angst, Masturbation, Predebut Era, Reader and Chris are best friends, You will be warned before the smut, endless teasing, handjobs, skinship all the way, trainee!reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-10-10 00:57:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17415914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight4KRises/pseuds/Midnight4KRises
Summary: He knew he wanted to greet you with hugs instead of handshakes.knew he wanted to comfortably sleep on your shoulder without a care in the world.knew he wanted his head on your lap and your hands in his hair till he drifted away in your warmth.But he never knew he wanted his lips on yours till this very moment....You met Chan on your first day of training, and never left his side ever since. You shared everything together, even the same group of friends. He was the only one you ever trusted, the only warmth you needed, Until Han Jisung came into the picture.





	1. Heavy Clouds, and Heavy Minds

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: a rollercoaster of Fluff, Angst and Smut. (Smut appears more in the next chapters)

It was pouring outside, your dark bedroom illuminated softly by the reoccurring lightning.

Tucked under your covers, your body shivered with each sound of thunder, eyes darting at your shaking windows. You were never the type to be phased by the weather, but today was different.

The rain had been going on since sundown, growing with each hour, and It was 12 am already yet your roommate was nowhere to be found, having already left your dorm room to attend a gathering at some bar with the rest of the older trainees, probably sheltered from the storm underground.

You never joined her on any of these events, not that she wasn’t fun, but it’s mostly because you preferred the company of the younger trainees. Something about their raw energy and carefree attitude really drew you to them, and you never understood the issue in enjoying slightly sillier activities or just plain fooling around to get your mind off of the daily stress.

Usually, you were the one taking care of them and providing a place of comfort for when they needed help or advice, even if you weren’t the most helpful.  
  
And yet today was one of those days where you were the one that needed the comfort since the change of weather seems to be playing with your own mood, but even the youngsters were busy with their practice today, leaving you dreading that gap in your schedule.

You heard knocking on the door, and you know it’s strange since no one else in this level was there.

“Coming” you got up despite the fear, still wrapped in your blanket.

“Hey y/n” you opened the door to the sweetest smile spread across a pale fit young man leaning on your door frame.

“Chris!” You grinned in relief at the sight of your best friend. “Thank God you’re here.”

He lets out a small chuckle, his dimples becoming more prominent, and it only made you smile more. “Why, what’s up?” He looked around dramatically, then whispered: “are you scared?”

You pushed him playfully and he continued to giggle at your reaction “No! I’m just..”

“Hmm?”

“Stop it!” Your pitch became a little higher. “Okay, I’m a little phased by it, but only because it’s been going on for hours! And I’m alone with nothing to do and it’s a little dark an-“

“Ok ok, all you had to say is ‘please come in Chris I need you’” he cut you off.

You rolled your eyes at his teasing and pouted your lips childishly before deciding to give in. “Ugh, just come in”

He makes his way to sit on your bed as you turn on the lights.

“Woah.” He attempts to hold in the laugh this time. “I didn’t realize you were wearing that” He points his eyes at the baby blue blanket hugging your body.

“ it’s cold!” You raise your eyebrows at him.

“Not that cold.” He mocked.

You narrowed your eyes and ran towards him while unwrapping the blanket to throw it over his head and land beside him.

“What the-“ he struggled to get the tangled cover off, and you couldn’t help but laugh in revenge. “Seriously?” He glared at you through his messy hair, then shook his head as he laughed it off and wrapped the blanket around both of you.

You couldn’t believe how easily he had introduced coziness and comfort into your gloomy room, but then again this was Chris.

“So, how come Christopher Bang is free on a night like this?” You swayed your head at him.

He rolled his eyes “It got really boring hanging around a laptop for the past week”

“You don’t say?” You giggled. “I kept nagging you to take a break so you won't burn out, but no-“

He covered your mouth and hissed “I know, but I told you many times, once I’m in the zone, I can’t get out.”

You snatched his hand away “I just hate it when you drain yourself like that.” You pout, then stared at the red veins in his eyes, his bent posture devoured of energy, and you realized this might not be the most comfortable position for your overworked friend.

“Do you want to lay down a little?” You extend your hands towards the stack of pillows and stuffed dolls on the back of your bed.

Chris immediately grabbed your fluffy panda, as if he had waited for the opportunity. “Mayybe” he squeezed the stuffed animal.

You giggle as you escaped from the wrapped blanket and rearranged the pillows for him, and got up to close the lights and darken the room once more but this time adding the dancing flame of two scented candles.

“These are my favorite scents when I need to relax, lavender and-“

“Cheese cake?!”

“Vanilla” you said in between your laughter.

“Close enough! Gosh, I’m hungry.” He groans and stretches more over the bed, still grasping your panda.

“Honestly, what’s new?” You jump over the pile of pillows behind him, leaning over your side so that you’re looking down at him. “But have you actually eaten anything today? Or did you forget while working like always?” You started playing with his hair.

“I may or may not have done the latter”

“Chris!” You whined and pulled his hair slightly.

“Ouch! You know I can’t do anything about it.” He bent his neck to look up at you.

“Yes you can, I always told you even if you’re too busy to get something yourself, you can tell me.”

“I’m not going to burden you like that.” He brought his head back down. “You have your own stuff to worry about.”

“Don’t make me pull that hair out of your scalp” he chuckled at your brutal comment. “Besides, it’s not like I have that much going on.” You sigh.

“Uhh y/n.” His voice starts to stagger. “You’re constantly practicing and doing your best, daily. I’m sure something great is waiting for you soon. Just don’t think about it too much.”

“Yeah.” You continue caressing his hair. “I know that. Honestly, who am I to complain when it’s only been 3 years” you let out a faint chuckle. “That’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through. I’m really happy for you, Chris.” You smiled wholeheartedly, poking his slightly rosy cheeks.

“I know.” He giggled, but soon after that, his face became devoid of expression. “I’m just” he sighed. “a little worried about the possibility of eliminations. I don’t think I could leave any of the guys behind.”

“And you won’t have to. They’re all ready for this, and your bond as a team in itself is enough to amaze anyone, Chris.” You reassured him, staring straight into his rheumy eyes. “It’s gonna be alright, I promise.”

He shut his eyes right after you said that then turned to curl his body into the side of your bed, leaving you a little startled at his reaction.

“Thank you, y/n.” He mumbled, and the subtle sounds of his soft snoring soon followed, and couldn’t hold in the wide smile forming on your face.

You continued playing with his curly strands while staring at the rainfall now slowly sliding on your windows, it seemed like he drifted the storm away on his way to sleep, like the sky had been roaring for his aching body to rest.

You stumbled back to reality at the buzzing of a phone beside you, it was Chan’s, and you couldn’t stop yourself from quickly peeking at the spam of messages.

  * “HYUNG” 
  * “HYUNG WHERE ARE YOU”
  * “I know you’re working but why are you not answering the door?”
  * “You can’t possibly have gone to that weird party with Woojin Hyung?!”
  * “YOU DID?!”
  * “CHAN HYUNG STOP LEAVING YOUR PHONE ON SILENT IM GONNA SCREAM” 



When the messages kept coming, you were starting to worry, but at the same time couldn’t for the life of you wake him up.

So, you decided to use the privilege of having your fingerprint saved on his phone to see what’s going on without bothering the poor guy.

You stared at the contact name. _“Jisung?”_

  * “Final call: HYUNNNGGGG”
  * “Jisung calm the f down, what’s going on? it’s y/n, Chris is asleep right now..”
  * “Y/n? What are you doing with Chan’s phone? Where are you guys?”
  * “We’re at my room, and you were sending too many messages so I had to check. Sorry, but I couldn’t wake him up after he finally got some sleep.”
  * “Hyung? Sleeping? Is this a miracle?”
  * “My magic 😌 or my panda’s, he’s suffocating him right now”
  * “Please take a pic, I need that for..research”
  * “Bold of you to assume I hadn’t already taken one, but you’re not getting your hands on it.”
  * “Pshh I’m coming to see the real thing”
  * “?”
  * “👀”
  * “Did you just invite yourself to my room? Uh hell no, Chris needs rest 😠”
  * “NOONA PLEASE IM LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE AWAKE”
  * “DO NOT CALL ME THAT and is that why you kept spamming him? Well, your insomniac parter has abandoned you tonight”
  * “This is not fair 😭”
  * “Yes it is, and you should get some sleep too, you guys had practice all day.”
  * “But I cannnnt. Why don’t you spare me some of your magic too?”
  * “Nop, you have to earn it”
  * “Noona why do you hate me? 😒”
  * “Maybe because YOU KEEP CALLING ME NOONA”
  *  “But you are my noona”
  * “But Idc I don’t like it, makes me feel old”
  * “Oh please, everyone knows you act like a 10-year-old”
  *  “🙂🔪"
  * “IN A GOOD WAY, a really adorable way actually, but I still like calling you noona”
  * “And I still hate it, AND YOU”
  * “Pshh I’ll make you love it”
  * “Lol how”
  * “Like this..”



You suddenly heard faint knocking on the door. “Unbelievable.” You muttered before being forced to get up and answer so Chris won’t wake up.

“NOON—“ Jisung said loudly before you covered his mouth.

“Shhh” you whispered. “What is the one thing I told you not to do?!”

“Come to your room? Bother chan? Calling you nooooon—“

You cut him off again “see? you demonstrated my point exactly” you giggled a little at the silliness of the entire situation.

Truth is you obviously wanted him around, you didn’t feel like sleeping anytime soon and wasn’t entirely comfortable with sharing a bed with your best friend, so having Jisung as a distraction till Chris woke up wasn’t a bad idea.

You just don’t know why you love teasing him, maybe because his reactions are always over the top and entertaining to see, or maybe because he does the same to you.

“Just let me in and I promise I won’t annoy Chan Hyung” he pouted

“Hmm” you pretended to give it a thought.

“Come on, pleaaase” he grabbed your shoulders and shook you around gently “NOONA PLEASE”

“No no, stop saying that” you groaned.

“I won’t stop, noona. I won’t stop until you let me in”

“Fine, just-“ you let go from his grip. “Don’t make a sound” you emphasized on your way in.

He closed the door behind him quietly and you both sat down on the far edge of the bed.

“You weren’t lying about the panda.” He exclaimed with a slight chuckle, observing his teammate in his peaceful sleep. “Must be so nice sleeping over a mountain of pink pillows Chan.”

You laughed at the desperation in his voice, like he actually meant it. “Don’t even think about joining him.”

He looked back at you instantly. “I’m offended.”

“I can’t have two guys sleeping on my bed!” You whispered dramatically.

“As if having one is less weird.” He snorted.

“Nah, it’s Chris! You know it’s not like that.” You react in a slightly defensive tone.

“Shh.” He imitated the way you shut him earlier, whispering “you’ll wake him up.” Before laughing it off once you gave him a slight push. “I know, noon-“

“No.”

He let out a low chuckle. “But I’ll be honest, not everyone does.”

“Does what?”

“You know..” he leaned his head towards the direction of the blond laying behind you, and your eyes stretched wide open.

“Me and Chris?!” You accidentally raised your voice but proceeded to yell through the whisper. “You guys think?”

“Ehh” he hesitated to answer.

“What! No, we’re not- that’s not how-“

“I know I know, relax.” He giggled and reached for your wrists to calm you down, His tone and expression softening as he spoke. “Yes we had our suspicions at first because we weren’t used to friendships like that, but it’s pretty obvious by now, so don’t worry about it.”

You nodded and looked down at your snatched wrists. skin-ship was a regular thing between you and Chris, you can’t pinpoint exactly when it started being so, but it became too natural for you to think of it otherwise, and you assumed it was the same for him as well. For reasons beyond your understanding, you felt safe around him.

However, it wasn’t that way with the other guys, so staring at Jisung’s fingers rested on your skin in that fashion felt foreign, your instincts pulled back before you realized it.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable” He rubbed his neck and looked away. “I should tone it down with the teasing, it’s getting annoying.”

“No, it’s not that-“ you buried your face in your palms. “I never know how to explain this, I just trust him more than anyone.” You release your face and look up slowly.

“You guys spent the longest together in training, it makes sense that you’d be this close.” He shrugged.

You nodded.

“Anyway, do I smell vanilla?” He looked around, trying to change the subject.

“And Lavender.” You juggled your eyebrows.

“Damn y/n, no wonder he’s passed out, you really know your stuff.”

“Thank you.” You chuckled.

Jisung always knew how to keep the mood bright, it was something you really admired about the boy.

You can’t recall a moment where the smile left his full cheeks, or where the sparkle left his dark eyes.

And through the next hour it was all the same, your roommate still nowhere in sight, your best friend passed out on your bed, and Han Jisung failing to keep the both of you quiet from all the laughter.

It didn’t seem like Chris is waking up anytime soon, and for a while, you forgot how late it was, until Jisung let out a low yawn, and yours followed. “I think you need to wake him up before you and I pass out beside him"

You looked back with furrowed eyes. “I don’t have it in me, look at him.”

He sighs. “I’ll get going then, have fun explaining this to your roommate.” He scoffed as he got up.

“Wait, you’re not going anywhere” you tugged at the tip of his T-shirt, looking up at him, you just realized how baggy he wore his clothes, and how good his golden skin looked in black.  
“Not until he wakes up.”

“But I thought you didn’t want me here.” He smirked.

“Just sit down Jisung.” You whined.

He obliged, but the smirk failed to leave his face as he stared at you.

“What?” You felt the blood running to your cheeks. why was he looking at you that way all of a sudden?

“Nothing.” He shook his head and looked down, and for some reason, his fluffy hair was so tempting to pet.

He continued to glance at you when you came in contact with his soft strands, the goofiest smile engulfed his face. “Are you bribing me to stay.”

“Am I?” You gently brushed his bangs out of his face. “Maybe.” Or maybe you couldn’t resist it.

He laughed and pulled away. “I’m not falling for that, I’m tired, right? I practiced all day, remember?” He imitated you again.

“Why are you acting like you weren’t the one who begged to come here in the first place?” You smirked back, inching closer.

“And why are you ignoring the fact that you absolutely needed me?” He slowly leaned back.

“I did?” You tangled your fingers in his hair again.

“Uhmm” he hummed before shooting his hands back to catch himself from leaning over, only to hear the loud breath escaping Chan.

“Shoot!” He quickly removed the hand he accidentally rested on Chan’s leg, and the two of you stared widely waiting for him to wake up.

But to your relief, he didn’t.

You both looked back at each other, stuck in the same position, his face now just as flushed as yours, and at the moment you forgot you were almost on top of your younger friend.

You were gazing at a completely different Jisung now, and you only wanted to get closer.

“Noona?” He whispered softly, his face close enough for you to feel the warmth of his breath.

“Y-yes” you started to stutter, frozen in place.

“Can we move off the bed?” He brought his other hand to your hand caught in his hair, and the contact felt electrifying. “Hyung might wake up.”

You mummed, still processing the cause of your wavering body.

He snatched your hand in his and brought them in between you, caressing it as his whispers deepened “Noona.”

You blinked, your breaths growing shorter, eyes finally leaving him to wander towards his lips. How come you never noticed how sweet they looked?

He tugged at your hand to come closer and bit his lower lip.

_He noticed._

Was it the cold weather that confused your body’s shivers? or the adrenaline left from the frightening thunder? you weren’t sure, but what you were certain of is that whatever it was that pushed you towards his lips, you didn’t want it to go away. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jisung’s P.O.V

Jisung didn’t like to admit it when he’s jealous, his stubbornness always drove him to push any of these thoughts away and focus on improving himself, and in the context of envying others’ skills, it was a good choice. 

After all, jealously wasn’t very productive, but he had a hard time getting over how he felt whenever he saw you and Chan.

He didn’t know if he envied him or your relationship with him in general, but he knew he wanted something similar. 

He knew he wanted to greet you with hugs instead of handshakes, knew he wanted to comfortably sleep on your shoulder without a care in the world. He knew he wanted his head on your lap and your hands in his hair till he drifted away in your warmth, just like he witnessed his leader do countless times.

But he never knew he wanted his lips on yours till this very moment. 

Your kiss was hesitant, lips slowly pressing against his as he layed back in complete surrender. Rested on his elbows, his mouth struggled to respond at first from the shock, but as soon as he kissed back, your body landed on his, legs tangled so were almost stranding his thigh, and it urged him to push harder, sucking on your lips eagerly.

Was it possible his foolish desires towards you weren’t that foolish after all? Could you have thought of him that way before? Or was it the heavy clouds outside fogging your thoughts?

Jisung didn’t care, he didn’t want to think he did, he can’t ruin this with his overthinking. Not when you’re leaning into him like that, when you’re licking his lips so softly and brushing his thighs with your own, how could he let his thoughts stop this?

You pulled away, tugging at his lower lip and slowly opened your eyes, your face half lit by the dancing flame of your candles. He couldn’t ignore how beautiful you were, and as you remained there hovering over his lips, he felt the flames melting his own heart. 

His body urged to get up and get another taste, just to make sure, but the slight delay in his actions brought a change of expression on your face.

“I’m sorry.” You murmured shaking your head and detaching yourself from his body leaving him aching at the loss of connection. He Frowned, what did he do now.

“Huh?” Was all he could say as he stared up at your distressed state, standing with your face in your palms. 

“I’m sorry, Jisung I’m so sorry” 

“Sorry? No Noona I-“ 

“Exactly Jisung, I’m your noona, I shouldn’t have done this, I don’t know what gotten into me.“ You said softly, tears forming in your eyes, tearing at his heart the longer he stared. 

He got up and immediately wrapped his arms around you, letting your chin rest on his shoulder, feeling your body stiffen against him, no longer shivering, and he hoped your tears stopped as well. 

“Y/n, please stop.” He whispered in your ear, and brought every ounce of courage to say it. “I want this.” 

You looked up, eyes wide open. He knew you didn’t believe him, he could barely believe himself, but you were in his arms, and despite the dismal moment, he still didn’t wanna loose the connection. 

After all, it was all he wanted, it didn’t matter if how he wanted it, right?

He nodded, and hoped sincerity showed through his eyes as he stared at yours deeply, distracted by the way your eyes shimmered from the tears. 

“Jisung..” your voice drifted and his heart raced, then without wasting a second his lips were on yours again, but this time he gripped your waist, and your hands roamed his hair, and he stopped caring how things went from there.


	3. Chapter 3

Jisung’s lips were soft, his neck and hair under your hands were too, but to your surprise his grip wasn’t.

He held on to your waist like you would flee from him, but the bruise probably forming there wasn’t what worried you.

“Ji-“ you said between breaths as you pulled away. “Jisung, are you sure about this?”

You wanted to ask yourself the same question. Were you really ready to let go of all of the promises you made yourself to not another guy into your heart? After being used so many times?

He stroked one of his hands up your back to pull you closer, causing you to shut your eyes from the shiver escaping your body. Something about him drove you in, something about him felt safe. 

Like you can let your thoughts rest.

“Does it seem like I’m not, noona?” He said, his breath growing closer to your cheeks, and you inhaled as he kissed his way towards your jawline.

Just a few minutes from now he was teasing you like a child, and now he’s about to tease your neck, but you decided to attack his first, and your body jolted when you heard him gasp, sending the tips of your fingers underneath his shirt. 

It’s not your fault he didn’t go gentle.

He gripped your hair, making you looked up at his dazed expression, his eyes wide and cheeks burning red.

You smiled and softly pecked his lips. “then be careful.” Your eyes wandered to Chan, sending Jisung’s gaze towards him, and you used that moment of distraction to sneak your hands higher up his shirt. 

He jumped at your touch, letting out a soft moan, and you giggled at his reactions. 

“Noona!” He whined. 

You shushed him with your lips, but that didn’t stop him from moaning into the kiss when you wrapped your arms underneath his shirt completely around his bare back pulling him harder against you. 

Soon you couldn’t be quite yourself from the way he bit your lips and grabbed at your thighs, which urged him further to push you till you were back on the edge of the bed, but this time he was the one on top. 

Your hands moved to caress his thighs as he started grinding against you, tugging at your hair eagerly, arching your back and sending your hips harder towards him. It felt like the two of you were frozen in time and had lost any awareness of your setting, each fighting for your own desires. 

It was impossible to keep the exclaims of pleasure escaping your mouths, or the mattress starting to softy shake underneath you, it was a miracle Chan stayed put. 

Chan.

“Jisung” you said between breaths, digging your nails into his pants to make him stop, but it only made him move to your neck. “Jisung!”

He hummed against your skin.

“He’s going to wake up like that- ah Jisung.”

“I don’t care.” He said, continuing to nibble down to your collarbone, and you fought so hard not to give in. 

“He’s gonna kill both of us. S-stop” 

He released the skin he was sucking at your shoulder and groaned softly “Fiine” 

You both pulled back to catch your breaths, your gaze focused on the longing look in his eyes. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, cubbing your cheeks with both hands. “Noona, how are you so beautiful?”

Amongst all of the wild events of the night, his sudden words of admiration was the most to catch you off guard. Never in a million years would you have imagined that Jisung thought of you that way, or that your heart would beat so fast at it, and you didn’t know how to reply till he leaned in and caught you in the most passionate kiss you ever had.

Probably not realizing he had claimed your heart right then and there. 

Neither were you realizing the body tossing and turning against your back, but it seems Jisung had noticed as he got off of your lap the second he pulled away, his gaze directed behind you. 

You both stared back again in a moment of fear, but his eyes remained shut, mumbling in his sleep. 

“Chris.” You said as you turned back, and gently tapped his chest, sighing in relief when he didn’t respond.

You took and quick look at your clock and figured it was time he woke up “Chris it’s almost 3.” Your voice was somewhat quite, trying to avoid startling him.

“Aww” Jisung pinched your cheeks. “This is sweet and all but we don’t have all night.” 

“It seemed seconds ago we did” you scoffed.

He blushed and he rolled his eyes, then turned to Chan and shook him rather aggressively. “Hyung! wake up!” he yelled.

“Jisung!” You pull him away immediately, but the damage had already been done and you were met by a frightened Chan popping his eyes open.

“W-what?” He breathed heavily.

“You’ve been sleeping for too long, get up before we both get y/n kicked out.” Jisung said still caught in your arms. 

“Jisung?” Chan shot you a confused look, eyes still heavy. “How the hell did he end up here?” Then turned to Jisung. “why are you awake, didn’t you have practice all day? And wait-“ 

He finally sat up. “What are you two doing?” 

You and Jisung exchange embarrassed stares before quickly letting him go, and looking down to hide your burning cheeks. “We- I was just trying to stop him from startling you.” 

“I couldn’t sleep and no one else was awake, so I came by.” Jisung muttered, equally nervous. 

Chan narrowed his eyes, “Okay..” then got up and pulled Jisung with him. “I’m sorry for staying this long.”

“You know it’s alright, Chris.” You smiled.

He smiled back, then glared at Jisung. “I still don’t know what’s your business, but you’re gonna get yourself in trouble if they find you missing. At least I can use the party as an excuse, but what would you do?” He scolded, showcasing the protective side that made him a great leader, the side you always admired about him.

“I-“ Jisung struggled to explain himself. Chan only raised an eyebrow in response.

Jisung rolled his eyes again but turned to throw you the widest smile at you. “Bye, noona”

Chan snorted, expecting your usual scolding but your reply surprised him.

“You were right, I am starting to like that word.”

“Maybe later l can make you like it more.” Jisung smirked, then snatched his arm out of Chan’s grip. “Let’s just go” and shut the door behind him.

Chan stood there dumbfounded, eyes darting from the door to you, observing your state, and you knew he had a way of looking right through you, but he just shook his head and laughed “Goodnight.”

“N-Night” you waved shyly, unsure of what he had read on your face.

He stopped on his way towards the door. “I’m borrowing this, it works wonders” he snatched the lavender candle and winked at you.

“Sure.” You giggled.

Right before the warmth that surrounded your room at their presence disappeared, you wrap yourself back into your blanket, that now smells like Chan, and bit the taste of Jisung off of your lips, and that missing warmth rushes back, and the comfort presses your eyelids shut.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chan's POV

Chan took a sharp breath in the silence of his dark room, bending his head back as the cold air brushed against his sweat. The sheets buckled under his impatient movements, yearning for slightest friction as his hands stroked the length of his shaft. 

Lewd moans escaped him at the memory of your own, the ones you failed to suppress in his disturbed sleep. He should’ve informed you upon his awakening, but he couldn’t shake his curiosity, and now he was shamelessly imagining you in positions he had never dared to think about before. 

He hated himself for breaking the barriers of your friendship in his mind, and he wanted to hate the immense pleasure he got from it, but he just couldn’t. 

He pumped himself harder, chasing his release, and the shot of gratification engulfing him brought a realization:  _He wanted more._


	5. Chapter 5

isung sneaked into his shared bedroom, eyes checking each member as he tip-toed towards the bed. To his luck, Hyunjin, Jeongin, and Seungmin were fast asleep. He didn’t have to explain himself to anyone, which meant he could go right to sleep, but he couldn’t.

He couldn’t shake everything that had happened. No matter how tightly he held the covers, he still felt shivers from the memory of your fingertips around his skin, something he never imagined would happen outside the walls of his imagination, and he curses the universe for not dragging it out just a little longer. At least long enough for him to know what to make of it. 

Long enough for him to not have to question everything. To be confident for once in his decisions, but of course he can’t be, especially not with the way he was dragged by his bandmate earlier, like an immature kid. The young man he always looked up to, the one who had everything he lacked, even you.

But you were his now, right? This must have meant something, you must have felt it too.

Jisung bent the pillow over his ears in an attempt to shut his own thoughts. He tried his best not to let this night take him back to that same place. The dark place he fought so hard to escape throughout his training years.

* * *

 

“Jisung! You have 2 minutes before I push you off of the bed.” Seungmin threw the third pillow at Jisung’s exhausted body, earning nothing but loud whines from him.

“Just 10 more minutes!” he groaned.

“You’ve been saying that for the past hour, Jisung. get up already.” Hyunjin joined, sitting on the edge of Jisung’s bed.

“Honestly, how late did you sleep last night?” Seungmin asked, crossing his arms. Jisung blinked at him as if the boy had triggered the events to shoot through his mind, prompting him to leave his bed fast enough to avoid answering their questions.

Confusion filled the two boys as they watched Jisung spring towards his wardrobe, grabbing some clothes and a small towel.

“What? I’m taking a shower.” he shot as he looked back at their expressions before leaving.

Seungmin shook his head and looked at Hyunjin, who giggled at the boy’s strange attitude. “Go on then.” He signaled towards the door.

Jisung stepped out, and rushed to the bathroom, unaware of anyone that crossed his path, aiming towards the door like a haven that awaited him hid behind it.

Cold showers were a bold move in this weather, but Jisung needed the energy earned from surviving one. And so, he steps in the shower, shutting his eyes and bending his back as shivers traveled down his body with the contact of the freezing water, hoping that they carried all his worries and insecurities with them.

* * *

He sighs at his reflection in the bathroom mirror as he wrapped the white towel around his waist, pulling his dark wet strands back to shut his thoughts once again.

He grabbed his phone from the counter desperately, looking for anything to distract himself. He didn’t need another reminder of his inadequacy, and his reflection wasn’t doing him any good.

And what a better distraction than a surprise text from none other than you.

• Y: “Are your squirrel cheeks up yet? 👀”

He snickers at the screen and swipes to reply.

• J: “I don’t know? But I am. 🤠”  
• Y: “Ha! I had a feeling you’d sleep in a little longer, good thing I was wrong”  
• J: “Oh? Why? You missed me already? 😏”  
• Y: “Pshh as if”  
• J: “Then why are you checking up on my cheeks ha?”  
• Y: “I just wanted to see if you slept well..”

 _Oh?_  He spread his lips the widest they can get, and looked down to realize he was still standing on the cold tiled floor.

Stepping out of the bathroom, his eyes were glued to his phone’s screen as he typed on his way back to his room, the cold air hitting the skin barely covered by his towel.

• J: “Seungmin and Hyunjin disturbed my beauty sleep 😔✊🏻"

“Put something on you idiot, you’re gonna get sick!” Seungmin yelled at him when he entered the room, but your replies served as greater importance to him at that moment.

• Y: “Oh poor you 🙄”  
• J: “Did you?”  
• Y: “I passed out the second you left”  
• J: “Ahh sorry for keeping you up”

“Jisung!” Jisung was still standing by the door, receiving light punches on the shoulder from a frustrated Seungmin.

“What, what?!” Jisung finally replied, eyes alternating between the screen and his bandmate.

• Y: “Nah, I wasn’t gonna sleep till Chris woke up anyway..”

“Who the hell are you texting half naked?” Seungmin scoffed and tried to peek at Jisung’s screen.

“No one.” Jisung pulled his phone on instinct.

Seungmin rolled his eyes. “Aren’t you cold?”

“No.”   
“You’re shivering.”   
“I’m f-fine-“ Jisung tried to protest, and Seungmin laughed at the sight of the shaking boy in denial.

His phone vibrated again, and he read from the corner of his eye.

• Y: “Jisung?”

“Honestly, what’s up with you today?”

• Y: “Sungieee”

Sungie?! “I don’t know Seungmin, how about you let me change then?”

Seungmin squinted his eyes before twisting the doorknob slowly, still focused on Jisung.

“Wait a second,” Jisung finally reverted his concentration to his bandmate, he was snuggling a laptop with the other arm, a seemingly black box stuck between the device and his chest. “This isn’t your room.”

“No shit?” Seungmin said.

It wasn’t evident to him just how distressed the other appeared, his eyes buffed, and face tinted a slight red. “Is there something wrong? What were you doing here on your own?”

The younger’s eyes shot open. “I was just,” he stammered, avoiding Jisung’s gaze. “Just practicing. Your room was the only quiet one.”

“With your laptop?” Jisung’s eyes sneaked farther at the unknown item, but it only made Seungmin hug his belongings tighter, stumbling back in the process.

“Yes? Why does it matt-Just get dressed already” Seungmin blurted, swinging the door shut.

Jisung frowned at the closed door for a second before jumping on the nearest bed, similarly undressed.

• J: “Sorry, Seungmin was pestering me, again.”   
• Y: “It’s ok, I’m just too bored heh You guys are always tormenting each other, It’s entertaining.”  
• J: “Even when it’s me?!”  
• Y: “Especially when it’s you.”  
• J: “You love seeing me suffer, don’t you?”  
• Y: “More than you could imagine ;)”

 _What the hell did that mean?_  And why was he blushing? It’s probably just the cold, he really should get dressed. He reached beside him for his prepared clothes, only to remember they were still over the bathroom hanger.

 _Dammit._  That was his last pair of boxers. His terrible habit of abandoning his laundry sure did bite back.

• J: “Sungie is out of here.”   
• Y: “Hehe what are you doing?  
• J: “just got out of the shower.”

 _Shit!_  He immediately regretted sharing that information without prior thought, and hustled to delete it, but to his luck, you had already read it.

• Y: “Oh? 🤭”  
• J: “Yeeh ... you?”  
• Y: “You’d be surprised.”  
• J: “Surprise me.”

He threw his phone on the mattress and fiddled with his hair. He was never good at this, flirting, coming up with clever responses on the spot. Everything he did or said was carefully thought out beforehand, even if it seemed natural, because he knew he couldn’t trust himself. He’d just mess it up.

His phone buzzed again, and he had to think of something quick. Shifting glances around the room, his eyes landed on the closet mirrored door, on his bare reflection, and a wild thought crossed his mind.


	6. Chapter 6

“Could you stop texting him for one second?” Chan scoffed up at you. You were on his lap yet completely dismissing his presence. “He’s literally in the other room, just tell him to get out.”

A passing Seungmin snickered at his request. “Good luck with that.”

Chan had invited, or rather sneaked you over to the boys’ dorm. It was a lot messier now that the rest of the members had moved in. Some were scattered around the house setting up their belongings, while others were in the kitchen attempting to make lunch. That left you and Chan alone in the living room, which was much to your relief because you weren’t ready for their doubtful stares.

You didn’t plan on your best friend becoming your seat when you had first come in. You had ran to hug him in his seat, a bit surprised when he pulled you on top of him, but you didn’t question it. You were always that close anyway.

So it’s okay if his head laid a little closer to your breasts, or that his hands touched slightly higher up your thigh, right under your shorts. You shouldn’t worry about his annoyance with your interest in his bandmate.

“He doesn’t know I’m here, Chris.”   
“And why won’t you tell him?” Chan said.  
You looked at your thighs pressing on his, then shrugged. “Just teasing him.” Or hoping he doesn’t catch you like this.

“Oh please,” he snatched your phone, Ignoring your whines as he clicked on the camera and snapped a picture, clearly showcasing your position. “Now that should do.”

“No wait! Chris, don’t send that.”   
“Well, too late” he smirked and handed it back to you.

Your eyes shot open, but Chan’s remained unbothered. Why would he do this?

• J: “You’re here?!”  
• J: “And you’re with”  
• J: “Oh hi..”  
• J: “Nice chair”  
• J: “Was he reading the whole thing?”

“Great” you mumbled at the influx of messages from Jisung, and glared at Chan.

“What?” He giggled like nothing happened.

• Y: “No Sungie, he didn’t.”  
• J: “Aha”   
• Y: “I promise. He just wanted some attention hehe”  
• J: “Na-ah keep it on me.”   
• Y: “hmm you’re gonna have to do more than that. 👀”

“I’m going to murder you.” You snapped at Chan and pulled the pillow behind you to tackle him with it, shifting so that you’re now on top of him. His muffled whines and laughs were loud enough to reach the kitchen, and an annoyed Minho rushed in.

“What’s going- oh seriously.” He huffed at the two of you. “Get a room.”

“We had one before you came in.” Chan said from underneath you, and you landed one more hit at his shoulder at that. “Ouch!”

Minho laughed, and exchanged playful looks with Chan as you ignored their presence. The goofiest smile spread across your face when you checked Jisung’s chat again, still on top of your best friend.

• J: “oh yeah?”  
• J: “will this do?”

He sent you a picture of his adorable pout with his wet hair dropping over his eyes, and his cheeks puffed out. You giggled, thinking of running to that room just so can pinch those cheeks.

• Y: “Uwu maybe...”

“Aww, who’s your girl gushing over?” Minho teased and your gaze shot up in defense.   
“Who’s girl? I’m not gushing.”   
Chan nudged you with his knee, making you aware your current position. His wink sent you off instantly, face flushed from embarrassment. Your eyes darted to Minho who couldn’t stop laughing.

“Shutup” you mumbled.  
To make it worse, your phone buzzed again, and this time what you received made you gasp.

• J: “How about this?”

You blinked in shock, tingles attacked your stomach as you stared at a shirtless Jisung loosely clutching a towel around his waist. Granted, he wasn’t the most bulked up, but he was captivating nonetheless. You bit your lip to stop your foolish grin. “U-um can I use the bathroom, I need to fix my h-hair.” You spoke, hiding your flustered face in your hands.

Chan chuckled “ye-“  
“Ok!” You ran to the bathroom, not daring to turn your back as they exploded from laughter behind you.

Too rushed to even close the door behind you, you stopped at the bathroom mirror, smiling to yourself uncontrollably. This was truly unexpected, you never knew Han Jisung would be this bold, and you loved it.

Looking at it again, you couldn’t shake the thought of your hands running down his soft tanned skin. You wondered if his body tasted as sweet as his lips, if he’d rut against your hand glazing his abdominal, unwrapping his tow-

You jumped at the sudden feeling of hands grabbing your waist. “Like what you see?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung’s P.O.V

_He did it_  
He actually went ahead and sent you a picture of him in nothing but a towel, and Chan was right there next to you. How fucking smart. He’s done for. He messed it up.

Every minute that passes without you replying felt like hours of torture. All the coldness he ignored before stung his body at once, and he found himself shivering from both exposure and fear. What was he thinking? It’s not like he had much to show. What if Chan saw it? He’d definitely think it’s pathetic, you’re probably laughing at him yourself.

 _No_. He shook his head and dropped his phone on the bed. He won’t stand there shredding at his own confidence with made up scenarios. He knew better than that now. He’s going to go out there and find out for himself.

And so he did, striding towards the door. He poked his head out to check the way leading to the bathroom, where he abandoned his clothes, and sighed in relief at the open door.

All he had to do was go get dressed and get back out to face you.   
And Chan.  
And maybe everyone else.

Stepping closer to his destination, Jisung lent his ear to the sounds erupting from the living room. He heard what he recognized as Chan and Minho’s laughter, and gulped at the possibility of him causing it. His rapid heartbeat only got faster when he reached the bathroom door.

Right by the bathroom mirror, you leaned with your hands clutching the vanity top.

He stepped back in shock. This definitely wasn’t part of his plan. Eyes wide and body pinned in place, he pondered of what to do, until the reflection of your smile hit his vision.

His own smile slowly appeared at the realization of what you’re looking at, and he doesn’t need to think twice before quietly closing the door and sneaking his way towards your back.

“Like what you see?” He whispered as his hands wrapped around your waist.

Your body jolted in his arms, phone dropped and head shot up to face him through the mirror. Your scream almost erupted but he caught it in his hand.

You bit him. “Ouch! Wh-“

“You scared me!” You turned to burst at him. He hushed and tugged you back, your face pressed to his bare chest.

“Sorry?” Jisung giggled.

“You’re still,” your voice faded against his chest, and he hoped you didn’t hear his racing heart. “aren’t you cold?”

“I forgot my stuff here and gosh, Why does everyone keep say-aren’t you cold wearing these shorts, ha?”

You pulled back to laugh at his ramble, your blushing face now evident. “I’m wearing knee socks.”

“It still doesn’t make sense” he continued, almost loosing awareness of his state, until your lingering stare sent him back in hesitation.

“I’m-” he reached over for his hung clothes, but you suddenly hooked him back.   
“Sorry, I’m just nervous. You‘re-“ your breath felt warm against his numb skin, your fingers tracing his stomach even hotter. He missed every feeling your fingertips left. “Mesmerizing.”

Jisung flinched. His heart bounced at the reflection of your back looped in his arms, captured in the same mirror that earlier overflowed with his doubts. None of that existed within this moment, because somehow his stupid moves worked. His reckless behavior didn’t revolt you, and those countless shortcomings seemed to not matter to you.

You giggled when he started playing with your hair and pecked your neck, and Jisung didn’t know how he can feel so much warmth while being this exposed, this vulnerable.

“You know, I’m supposed to be ‘fixing my hair’” you looked up.

Jisung wiggled his hand in your strands to mess them up even more. “Oh no, that should take a while.”

You rolled your eyes and chuckled, then buried your face once more in his shoulder, tilting down to pepper light kisses across his clavicle.

He couldn’t shake the smile off of his face, and though his body shuddered from your touch, he was more relaxed than he’d been in a while.

Maybe, with you, he didn’t have to think twice. Maybe he can allow his confidence to take presence.

And so when his instinct told him to push lips on yours and your body forward, he didn’t hesitate, and soon you were sitting on the counter with him caught between your thighs. His body was in control now.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:  
> This chapter contains sexual content, if you’re not comfortable with that, you don’t need to read it. Although it mught contain some character development, it doesn’t necessarily affect the rest of the plot.

It all felt like a dream. Everything from his hasty mouth on yours, to the restless hands tugging at your hair, to his cold skin wrapped in your limps. All too fast and out of control, out of your control. It should have triggered your guard by now, build back all those walls with bricks of your past experiences, but something inside of you wanted to let go. You wanted Han Jisung to break them.

You slowed the pace of your mouths in an attempt to savor every taste, before moving down to taste the rest of him. You were careful around his neck, but merciless everywhere else. It was about time you marked him all for yourself, and the tiny whimpers of pleasure that fled his throat pushed you further.

He tugged harder at your hair the lower you went, and you feared you might be going too far. “sorry-“  
“No!” He whined, pulled you back to him.  
His sudden reaction caused you to chuckle against his skin, forehead resting over his chest and hands covering your face.  
“What? Why are you laughing?”  
“You’re just so cute”  
“ _Cute_?” He snapped.  
“Yes?” You tilted back to face him. “I mean you’re really sexy, baby.“ you teased and you pinched his cheek.  
He gave you a stern look before shoving you forward “Oh yeah?”

You almost laughed again till his lips latched onto your neck, hands firmly gripped your sides. “What are you doing?” You gasped.  
“Being cute.” He mumbled over your skin, and continued to trail wet kisses till your hoodie blocked his path. Your body shivered the second he started sucking.  
“Wait Jisung, not here” you said, kneading his shoulder.  
“Ugh.” He snapped his head back in frustration then let a hand loose to your thigh, pausing at the only other exposed part between your short and stockings. “Then where?”  
“Definitely not there.”  
“Hmm?” He pursed his lips with so much innocence like his fingertips weren’t sneaking underneath the fabric, electrifying your sensitive skin.  
“I’m-“ you winced “serious, Jisung. It’ll show.”  
“Okay.” He moved closer, pushing his hand further, the other one held your lower back. You felt his breath brushing your ear. “I won’t bite.” yet he did just that on your earlobe.

Ignoring the wetness beginning to coat your briefs, you locked every sound threatening to rise in your throat, nails nicking his shoulder as he went higher. This was it, you provoked his reckless side again, and you wished you had done it earlier, because his current bluntness drove him as far as to grope for your crotch.

“C-can I?” His voice wasn’t nearly as blunt as his grasp. The hand running up your spine didn’t stop moving as he waited for your answer.  
Without emitting a word, you placed your free hand over his and rubbed it over your drenched shorts. Your folds clenched behind the fabric, back arching desperately.  
“Uhh noona,” Jisung moaned over your sight, eyes wide while yours struggled to stay open. “you’re so wet.”  
“Of course I am baby, look at you.” You slurred and managed to kiss the whine that escaped his mouth.

Your breath grew shorter the more you guided him, releasing all the lewd sounds you held back. The corners of his mouth lifted with the jolting of your hips. Normally, you would hide your face in embarrassment, afraid to let your partner know how much effect they had on you, because you feared they’d abuse it, and not in a way you liked, but this was different.

Jisung was different, you wanted him to know how much you craved him.

“You look so hot, Noona I’m-“ he whined again, making you take a quick glance at his groin. He was aching. As much as you wanted to reach your release, you wanted to grant him his first. Your hand leading his came to a halt as you stared at the growing tent in his towel.

You tightened your thighs around his waist, bringing him dangerously close. His towel almost slipped, exposing more of his hips, but his hands were quick to catch it. Panic washed over his face.

 _Oh_. You detached yourself from him immediately. Of course. He was young and probably inexperienced, of course he’d be insecure.

“It’s okay if you’re not ready.” you spoke softly, hand caressing his cheek. “Don’t worry, okay?”

He nodded and rested his hand over yours, but his eyes fell elsewhere, lost in thought. You felt his distress and joined him in a gentle kiss, trying your best to comfort him. To your surprise he picked up your pace again, deepening the kiss to bring you back were you left off.

You cupped his face when you pulled back to breath, lip stretched out of his teeth. His dark eyes glistened with so much desire, but he wore a pout on his face. You wondered how he could carry this amount of purity even in times like these, and what it’d take to break it, but you shook the thought out of your head. You would wait for him as long as it took.

“Noona,” he whispered over your lips, and you hummed in response, still lost in his gaze. “Do you really want me?”

You blinked, then let out a confused laugh. “What does it look like?”

“I-I meant do you..” his voice drifted along with his gaze downwards. You followed it , a finger sliding along his tense muscles, your other hand still caressing his cheek, trying to stay steady yourself.

You raised your brows.

Jisung snatched your wandering hand and let out a shaky breath before loosening the grip on the white cloth. Your eyes widened with the expanding loop of his undone towel, watching it slowly slip over his light caramel skin.

And oh god. There he was, Han Jisung, your extremely talented young fellow trainee, your best friend’s friend and soon-to-be bandmate, standing completely exposed for you.

If Jisung was mesmerizing as it was shirtless, he’s even more beautiful waist-down and caged between your legs. Biting your lower lip, you scanned every inch of his lean body. Stopping yourself from lingering on his growing erection.

He stared back with slanted brows, eyes set on your expressions as if searching for your validation.

“Wow.” You exhaled. Relief slowly took over him once he saw your smile.

“Jisung,” Your excitement was difficult to hide, even as you spoke. “you know we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, right?”

“I know.” His voice was deeper, a nervous smile lifted his blushing cheek. “You didn’t answer me.”

“I do,” your breath collided with his. “I really, really do.”

He tightened his grip around your hand inches above his length, you caught it and his lips in an instant. His whimpers vibrated through your mouth as you swirl your tongue around his and mimicked the motion with your fingers. He twitched under your touch.

You sucked his tongue while sliding upwards his shaft, and It wasn’t long till he was fully rigid.

His eyes remain shut as he escaped your lips and started panting.

“How does it feel, baby?” You cooed, keeping your movement atrociously slow.

“Good. _So. Good_ ” he said between breaths.

You smirked. “And you look so good right now.”

He did, his knitted brows through his damp strands, vein popping out along his neck, and chest rising as he caught his breath with those pouty lips. Jisung looked like a work of art, and you wished he knew even half of it.

You held his rosy cheek again and pushed his red lips with your thumb. “So fucking beautiful” you weren’t surprised when he whined at your compliments, and you were more than happy to keep going.

“N-noona.” You watched him struggle to swallow his moans, and stroked his erection harder, stopping to run your thumb at the tip.

“Gosh, your voice always turns me on so much.”

You had your experience with the guys you dated, but you never wanted to please them as badly as you wanted to pleasure Jisung. His reactions enticed you. The way his head fell on your shoulder to muffle his moans, how he’d try to be still but ends up thrusting at your hand so eagerly and grabbing any part of your body his hands can find.

This time, when his cold hand reached under your hoodie again, it ran up the soft warm skin of your stomach and latched around your lace bralette. You gasped when he brushed the barely protected nipple, and curse your lazy choice of bras.

Jisung noticed your responses, and started kneading your breast and nibbling at your shoulder.

“Is this okay, noona?” He said so innocently. You knew he used that innocence to his advantage, and you didn’t mind falling for it, as long as you get to tear it from him.

 _That sneaky little_. He pinched your nipple through the fabric. “yes. Fuck.” You bit down your own moan. it got difficult to tell who was getting who off. Your grip fumbled around him, and he cheekily giggled at his effect on you. You combated by pausing and pressing lightly over his shaft, making him yelp.

“careful, babyboy.” You purred, lowering your lips to his leaking head, and licked the bit of salty essence off his slit. His groan resonated through the vacant room, and it was your turn to chuckle. You kissed his tip, preparing to tease him in.

“No wait, I’m gonna c-“

“ _Jisung_?” A faint bang on the door startled the both of you off.  
“Jisung, you need to get out, now!”


End file.
